The Devil's Card Game
by xWhiteButterfly13x
Summary: Just an average winter night for practicing psycology student Katlyn Rose in Gothum city when a mysterious letter appears and old wonds are open. But what happens when the devils jester comes into play and he wants Katlyn? Joker/OC.
1. Chapter 1

a u t h o r' s n o t e

** a u t h o r' s n o t e **

**hey guys well im back and my harry potter/ draco malfoy obsession has died down a ton since last year. Now I've moved on to greater things now, things like Batman and the Joker. Now me being the hopeless romantic fell in love with the Joker because of how little you know about his background so I began to think after I saw dark knight (which was frickin amazing!!) anyways I began to think of how the Joker came to be and how he might have some kind of compassion or at least attachment to one girl. So this story came into mind. So tell me what you think not much for the first part but I think it could be something great. Thanks and review!! XD**

**The Joker and all other Batman characters belong to Marvel comics.©**

**All other characters belong to me.**

**p.s. sorry for the long note.**

"…_.Still at large. Can even Batman save us?"_ I shivered as they flashed the picture over the screen again. I pulled my ironically purple bathrobe tighter around me. I sat in my living room watching the news as I did every evening. My cat, Art, had curled up in my lap while I drank my nightly tea. My flannel pajama bottoms stuck to my legs from the heat of the fire. Despite the fact I was sweating, I was still so cold. The haunting picture flashed across the screen. That face, those hazel eyes I knew all to well seemed to mock me through the glass. I sighed and shifted my feet causing Art to jump from the sofa and curl up on the carpet.

_It wasn't always like this_ I thought to myself. When I, well we, were twelve, that's when things began to go downhill. I remember the beatings got worse and the scars became more apparent. I remember his crying on the firescape that connected our houses. I remembered the nights he would sleep next to me in my bed to help keep the ever-real nightmares at bay. He was once like you and me, a normal kid, but today he was mealy a freak, a mad man. He was the Joker.

I stood placing my cup of tea on the card table as I stretched. I turned off the TV and replaced it with soothing music. I walked over to the window and walked out onto the balcony that overlooked the town. I let a heavy breath go watching it form steam in the winter air. The snow was falling steadily by now making Gothum look almost peaceful. I walked forward to the railing and placed all my weight on the frozen poles. The cold sent shivers down my spine. I closed my eyes and reflected on the quiet. I opened my eyes when I felt someone else with me on the balcony. I turned and found my favorite client standing behind me clad in his usual black. "Mr. Batman." I nodded and smiled at him.

He handed me a file and was gone before I had a chance to thank him. I smiled at this and decided to go back in. I closed and latched the door tightly. Though I was on the 8th story it helped to take precautions in a place like Gothum. I sighed and looked down at the file Batman had handed me, the label read #4908 666 13. This was his file from the old Arkyle Asylum. I was a practicing psychologist at the local college. My job was to attend court cases and asses the persons on trial, most times they were mentally unsound but there were the few times I had pronounced then perfectly healthy making their sentences even worse than before; if at all possible.

My job was an easy one and I hardly worked. I had a day job at a café only a few blocks away where I would sing and wait tables, I enjoyed my work. I drew the file close to my chest and walked to my bed through an open doorway that separated my kitchen/ sitting room/ dining room. It was a rather large and pricy one story flat but it was the closet thing to a nice home you could get here. Well aside from Wayne manor I thought it was the best money could buy. I placed the file in the drawer next to my bed and made my way to the bathroom to prepare myself for bed. A few moments later I came back out to find a single brightly painted purple and green flower on my pillow. I glanced at the window, which was slightly ajar and gulped in horror.

I wrenched the envelope from the string that held it to the flower and hastily ripped it open. I quickly read the letter and ran to the balcony throwing the doors open. I stared at the snow that had be tarnished by large feet, far larger than mine and in the wrong place for Batman's'. I dashed to the railing and looked about, no sight of him. I looked up and still did not see him. I clutched the letter tightly to my chest and breathed out heavily causing much steam to rise into the air. I looked closely and saw tracks of a large truck that had been parked outside my apartment building. I fell to my knees crying in both happiness and fear. The letter fell to the snow beside me and again I read it. In an elegant purple scrip it read _Honey, I'm home_


	2. Chapter 2

a u t h o r 's n o t e

** a u t h o r 's n o t e **

**hey guys sorry about a big mess up I had last chapter. It not Arklym or whatever I put I meant Arkham. This kinda picks up the next morning after she gets the rose. I know it may seem like I'm skipping around but hopefully it will make sence. I kinda got lost at one point while writing so forgive me if the tenses in the story changes. Um…what else…oh yeah. This first bit will kinda introduce you to Katlyn and her life and her past relationship with the Joker. So not a lot of action going on and note, I am not big on fight scenes so there may not be any all you might get is a newse brief or something but it would help if you have seen dark knight before reading this. Thanks and keep up with the reviews! Thank you to those who gave such encouraging words on the last chapter.**

_I stood on the stoop of my new home. I looked up holding the teddy tightly by one arm. The large mahogany doors loomed above me almost saying go away. I bit my lip as my mom gently scooped me up and brought me up to the room that was to be mine. I wearily smiled at her, tears forming in my eyes. I hated change. I sat my bear down on top of the small dresser that was being placed in my room. I slowly walked around getting on my hands and knees to examine every inch of my room. "Princess, what are you doing?" Came the deep and hearty voice of my father as he stood in the door. "Wooking for Boogeyman." I replied never once letting my go astray from the task at hand. I was missing a front tooth; it was hard for me to say my Ls. He chuckled and walked away leaving that scent of tobacco and peppermint._

_I heaved a sigh and walked over to the window and struggled to lift it. A screen of dust came when I finally managed to pry it open. I coughed for a moment and swatted the air about me in vain. The dust settled and I leaned on the large window frame. I grabbed at a button on my jumper and fiddled with it as I stared at the window across the firescape from mine. A warm breeze blew through and ruffled the drapes. I smiled content in this new area. I laid my head down on my arms and began to hum. I was close to sleep when I felt a tapping on my head. I grouchily opened my eyes to give a dirty look at whoever was tapping me. I came face to face with a dinosaur and gave a small cry as I feel off of the window seat. I closed my eye as tears began to form threatening to fall. I put my fists up to my eyes and left them there. _

"_Hey? Your not scared of my good old t-rex are ya? Don' worry. He's a big old chicken really. I promise I wont let old rex bite ya." I looked up at the person speaking and a smile broke out over my face. He looked maybe one or two years older than me but he was much taller than I. He had curly blonde hair that fell over his hazel eyes. He wore a striped tee shirt and a pair of jeans that were stained. He held out a hand to me and I took it as he brought me to my feet. He stepped back a moment and looked at me. He frowned and walked closer to me and began to straighten my clothes. I giggled at this silly compulsion._

_He stepped back to look at his work and smiled at what he saw. He thrust his dirty hand forward and I took it. "So what'd they call ya princess?" he asked as I shook his hand. "Kaywyn." I replied trying my best to say my Ls. He laughed at the silly way I said my Ls. "Katlyn huh? Nice name. I'm James. James Grey." His hand still had a firm hold on mine. I laughed at this silly manor of his. "Welcome to the neighbor hood Kitty." And I was sure from that moment on that I would have a life long friend._

I sat in a daze remembering that time we had first met. The daily paper was limp in my hand and my coffee was growing cold in the other. I was just standing in a daze on the subway as if I was frozen in time. "Ma'am?" I glanced down at an elderly woman next to me with my mouth half open. She was holding his file up to me. I stared at her confused my gaze switching from the manila file to her pruned old face. "Oh. Yes I must have dropped that. Thank you." I held my hand out and she put the file in my grasp; giving me an odd look she turned away and walked down to another compartment. I gazed down at the numbers inscribed on the outside of the file #4908 666 13. I kept saying those numbers over and over in my head hoping they would say something that could help me. Why I had his file from Arkham, I don't know, but I wanted it.

The subway gave a lurch and then shuddered into place hissing as the doors slowly opened. The sign over the exit read Gothum, downtown, stop 4b, rail line A. this was my stop. I quickly collected my thoughts and pushed through the doors following the rest of the crowd. My pumps clicked much to loudly on the cement floors that lined the subway station. Each step I took seemed to pulse in my ears making my head throb. I stopped by the trashcans and took a long sip to finish of my coffee. I would need several more cups to wake up. I emerged from the dark depths of the station and broke out into the overcast and bright skies of the city.

Downtown was just as dangerous as the slums in Gothum; you were stupid and ignorant if you didn't carry a gun on your person at all times. Looking around me I could see several men who were dangerous and wanted by the police but had mob bosses protection so no one could touch them. I sighed and quickly walked down the sidewalk ignoring the many people around me. I bumped into someone and fell down, my affects falling every which way. "I'm so sorry." I mumbled as I hurriedly scooped up the files.

I glanced up at the man I had hit and stared with my jaw open. "Mr. Wayne. What a pleasure." I stuttered as he stared at the file he now held in his hands. "Mrs. Rose." He nodded to me, handed me the file and then walked off. We were acquainted by the fact that I had helped the Commissioner before and Mr. Wayne had supervised our little duet so to speak. I glanced over my shoulder to get one last peak at the man but he was long gone from my eyes. I sighed and continued to walk to my place of work.

The stoop was covered in a light snowdrift from the previous night. A small flurry was beginning to start again. Turning back, I behold a sea of black and white. People in their winter jackets scurry around and tarnish the white snow. I see mothers carrying packages that were for their children. Christmas was only three weeks away.

I hurriedly walk into the office building and am immediately bombarded by people. Someone takes my coat; someone gives me fresh coffee while I sign an annoying piece of paper on a clipboard being waved in front of me. My secretary runs up to me and beings to read out all of my messages and meetings I have. Damn. I hate the holiday seasons. I walk to my office and slam the door and silence greets me. I smile as I relax in my chair. I throw my affects into one of the chairs in front of my large desk. I stare at it, that file is mocking me. I finally notice the numbers, 666, the devils number, 13, the unluckiest number. Typical, it almost fits him, the him today that is.

I reach up and find a few pieces of paperwork that need to be done. I turn on my computer and take another drink of coffee. I begin to type and slowly I fade out again.

_I sit on my bed, I'm eight now, two years have gone buy since I moved here to Gothum. I sit in the middle of my floor; the pink walls seem to glow in the light as I draw pretty pictures. "Hey Kitty." I look up and begin to panic as I see James sitting in the window. I hurriedly try to cover up my work but I spill my juice all over the sheet of paper. The can of glitter falls on top of it too. I stare at the paper in horror as he jumps from the window seat and to my floor. I begin to cry now at the ruined sheet of paper. "Aw Kitty, what's wrong?" _

_He stoops down to my level and gently takes my redden face in his hands. I look in his hazel eyes and begin to cry harder. He is bigger than I am and he slowly lifts me to my feet. I stand there, fits over my eyes as I always have when I cry. I slowly find my voice. "I…I was mak-making you a…a…bbbirthdayy card. And now…now. It's… its all ruined." I cried even harder than before the tears now flowed steadily off my face. He looks at me and bends down to get the card I was making. He holds it up by the corners and slowly rotates it in the air._

_A cynical smile breaks out over his face. "Now, now, princess, this'll dry in a bit and it'll be as good as new." My crying ceases for a moment and I look at him. "Really?" he smiles and inches closer to me. "Really." He leans down and kisses me on the cheek and gives me a big hug. I stand there stunned and raise my hand to where he kissed me. "By Kitty. See yaz later." He smiles and darts out of my window carrying the card I made him for his tenth birthday. I smile as he disappears into his own house and I glance at the mess I made. The tears come again._

I smile reminiscing as the work continues. Those damn incidences of his on the news made me remember things I had long forgotten. My boss comes in the room and angrily slams the door. "Rose! What the hell is this?" he begins to shout at me. I stare at him in horror and confusion. My boss, Mr. Smithling, turns bright red when he gets angry and his upper lip and brow being to sweat. He stood before me waving one of the daily newspapers in my face. "What is it sir?" I say in as polite of a voice as I can muster. He flashes a page before me and throws it angrily on my desk. I glance down at the article and begin to feel my chest close up. This wasn't my fault!


	3. Chapter 3

I was beginning to feel sick

I was beginning to feel sick. My chest was closing up, my heart was racing, I was dizzy, and I couldn't breath. My light breakfast was churning in my stomach threatening to come up. I mentally slapped myself trying to wake up; if only it was a dream. I removed my eyes from the article and looked up at my sweaty over-weight employer. He was beginning to turn purple and sweat now gushed from his thick brow like a waterfall. His bottom lip quivered furiously and I could almost see his thick red hair turning grey.

"Sir I…" I was speechless, lost for words. He sucked in a large gulp of air causing his chest to rise and make him look larger than he was. He raised a sausage like finger at me and began to speak. "You…you little…. how could you let this happen?! You have compromised the good name of this company! This is just…just…SCANDELOUS! Just be glad you are damn good at what you do! If you weren't you would be out on the street instantly! One last warning little missy and if even one toe crosses the line, your out of a job!" he huffed and angrily walked over to the door. " And I will make sure that no employer in all of Gothum will ever again hire you!" with that he slammed the door.

" Make sure the door doesn't hit you on your way out!" I cried out after him as he was already in the elevator. I cried out in frustration and took a wad of papers for shredding and threw them around the room cursing in a un-lady like fashion. Once this act had been done, I straightened myself up and walked out to my secretary. "Jenny?" I asked in a calm and collected voice stating I was angry. "Yes ma'am?" She looked up from her brown cat eyeglasses, her messy hair falling over the hazed lenses. "Cancel all appointments I have for the day. I have some damage control to do." I gave her a stern look and turned to walk back into my secluded space. "Ma'am?" she timidly asked. "Just do it." I growled at her.

I slammed my door closed and leaned back putting all my weight on the heals. I rubbed my temples and felt my earlier migraine coming on. I glared at that little piece of paper on my desk hoping it would burn and the whole ordeal would be gone. No such luck. I sat in the high back leather chair and contemplated what to do. I hadn't actually read the article because it was on the second page as the first page was filled with the Joker's work. I looked down at the article and felt my gut churn again.

There on the cover was a picture of me, myself, Katlyn Rose, most prestige physiological analyzer in all of Gothum, renowned intellectual merit, drunk, at a bar, with the most infamous playboy in all of Gothum, Bruce Wayne. And worst of all, his hand was on my ass, MY ass, and if I remember correctly, his hand would soon find the inside of my skirt. But I was pretty hammered that night so I don't remember a lot. Yeah I was drunk at a bar with a drunk Bruce Wayne but I had a good reason. My best girlfriend who I had known most all of my life, had been raped and killed in an alley earlier that morning. It was just a coincidence that Bruce had been there. I had gone to "drown my sorrows" as the article said.

Worst of all, because of this "Celebrity scandal" my company had lost 30 of its regular business all because that damn paparazzi couldn't keep the lens on their camera for a few hours. If my mom and dad could see me now, how disappointed they would be of their princess. So all of this decrease was placed on me and this was my fault. In reality, it could just as well have happened to Jenny the dowdy secretary. All men are the same when drunk. Nothing happened between us, me and Bruce that is. I had gotten pissed pretty quickly with him and hit his hand away. I had some sense left so I had Jenny come and pick me up; she may be just a secretary but she was also a good friend of mine.

The article soon had stains on it from my tears and I picked up the phone and began to dial many numbers. After a few hours of talking and a box of tissues later, the paper was writing a follow up story on my company's plan for this to happen. I had told the paper that it was to win over Mr. Wayne's business and this lie had worked. I smiled at how clever I was, I was proud of myself.

"_I don't understand." I spoke slowly as he tried and tried again to show me how to do it. "Look kitten, its simple really. Just like this." He showed me again. I tilted my head to the side to show him that I was confused. I tried once more because of his encouraging prods but still nothing happened. Well I did laugh but that wasn't our goal. "C'mon kitten, try harder. If you wanna get sympathy from people, you gotta be able to work up a few good tears and lie." I nodded my head as he spoke encouragingly to me. I made a serious face and looked at my mirror and began to think of sad things._

_I twisted up my face funny and opened my mouth and began to cry. On the inside I was beaming, I knew I was doing a good job. All of a sudden I felt a thump and I turned to find James on the floor face down. I gasped because I thought he was hurt for he was shaking violently. I rushed to his side and began to shake his shoulder. "James? Common J, get up! James?" I began to panic because he wasn't responding to me. He then to my joy turned over and I found him laughing, not crying. _

"_What's so funny?" I was mad at this point. I crossed my arms and glared at his laughing red face. "Oh common angel, that face of yours was pretty funny." He began to laugh again. I pouted and tears came again. "Aw angel, don't…don't cry. I'm sorry. You made me laugh is all, I like to laugh". I stopped crying and began to laugh at him. He looked at me in pure confusion. "What?" he said. "Gotcha!" I cried and fell on top of him. He began to tickle me and I cried out in pleasure. He eventually stopped and I rolled over and looked at him. "Did I do good James?"_

_I was on top of his chest, my head rested by his heart. "You did great kiddo." He gently stood and pulled me with him. He straightened out my clothes again and stepped back to look at me. "You know what Pooh? You are nine now, almost ten. You need a new hairstyle. Your almost to old for the pigtails now kid. How bout a pony tail?" I smiled up at him as he undid my pigtails. "Kay." I meekly replied. He smiled and bent down to kiss my forehead and crawled back through my window to his apartment. "See you later!" I called out after him receiving a wave. I pulled a strand of hair that he had touched and smelt it. It smelt like James, and I liked it._

I smile and push some falling hair out of my eyes. I am straining to stay concentrated on the numbers I'm entering into the computer. This is only one reason I hated to work at an office. I look at the clock; I only have five minutes left until I can go home for the day. Hurriedly I finish my paperwork, I hate paperwork.

I sigh and stand from my desk stretching the stiff vertebrae in my back. Man was I stiff. That is why I hated to do paperwork, one gets stiff and tired. I walk over to the large picture window that overlooks Gothum and I smile. It looks like a scene from a postcard or a travel book. Large dark towers are covered in a fluffy white blanket of snow. Steam rises from the streets and lights flicker about. This was my home, this was my life. Life was hell, Gothum was hell, and the Joker was the devil and he played the city like some card game. He kept cards up his sleeve, he made the rules, he gambled using people's life, he called the shots, life here wasn't any different than a card game at the casino.

I shivered and walked away from the window wrapping my arms around me. I couldn't get the thought of him out of my head. Joker, James, Joker, James, two names, two people, one life. I began to rub my arms to cause friction as I went to get my jacket. I grab my briefcase from the floor and slide my jacket on. I walk over to the door and turn around to double check to see if I had left anything. I shrugged feeling like I was forgetting something and turned off the lights. The dim glow of the city mixed with the fading light of day may my room have a spooky iridescent glow. I turned and closed the door behind me.

"Hey Jenny. I'm heading out for the day. I will see you later then." I spoke to her in a kinder voice than I had earlier that day. She looked up from her writing she was doing and gave me a smile as she bit me a due. I walked through the narrow path between all of the cubicles to the elevator. I had almost reached the button when I was stopped. He was rather handsome I will admit to that but nothing else. He stood about six foot three or so with deep red hair. His eyes were honey colored and he had olive skin. His smile was white and his perfect teeth glistened in the light.

"Katlyn, can you spare a moment?" he asked me smoothly leaning against the wall, his Italian suit moving with his body. "No, I need to go home." I spoke sternly and forced my way past him. He seemed stunned that I would reject him but I couldn't care. He tried to say something else, but the elevator closed before he could stop the door. I held the door closed button and hit the one that would lead me to the first floor.

I left the building in a hurry and it was beginning to get dark. I heard him running out after me and I turned a corner. I pressed up against a wall and hid in the shadows closing my eyes hoping to disappear. He ran right by my hiding spot. I opened my eyes and I found four people in front of me. I cringed at the stench of the men in front of me. One held a knife in his hand and the others held rope. I began to panic and I felt acid tears run down my face. I saw them look at me and grin evilly and I began to have envisions of Brenna being killed and raped.

I grabbed a trash can lid and threw it at one of the men taking off as they were distracted. I ran as fast as I could taking off my heels in the process and leaving them on the ground. I turned numerous corners, my heart rate picking up. They were still there, I could hear them. I panicked and turned another corner and ran into someone. They grabbed my wrist and I began to scream, steam rose from a vent in the ground nearby. The men who had been perusing me turned and then flead in horror. I looked up at my captor and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. "Now honey, I know you wanted to see me but don't you think this is over the top?" A shrill cry broke from his smiling lips sending shivers up my spine. "J?" I mumbled softly in horror. He gave a smirk and pulled me to him. "Hey kitten, take a deep breath." I opened my mouth and felt a heavy gas enter my mouth. I fell to the ground gasping for air then I felt haze overcome me. The last thing I heard was his laugh then darkness took over.


	4. Chapter 4

**A u t h o r s n o t e**

**Hey guys, sorry for taking so long to update. Im having some problems with my grades at school right now so I haven't been working on this for a long while. Anyways hope you will keep reading. This was a fun chapter to write, because I felt as horrid as the character did. Ive also been sick so this was kinda a product of it. Tell me how you like it, leave comments, favor it. You know all the works. Um I know for sure that I have one spelling error in there I just cant spell it and my computer doesn't know either. Um the word is like when you owe someone like your in debt, we I was trying to spell debt with an ed on the end like…..nvm the word is supposed to be indebted but I couldn't find where it was supposed to be so sorry about that and any other grammer issues I have. Love you guys for supporting me and all of your kind words, and yeah if this seems kinda dark its supposed to be.**

I sat up suddenly, soaking wet. I glanced around, lost, confused, in pain. My head felt like it weighed three tons, quite an unpleasant feeling. I looked down and found that I was in my pajamas and I laid back down onto my pillow. I sighed in relief thinking this was just another one of those dreams, that none of this had happened. I removed myself from my bed and walked into the bathroom. The faucet on the tub would only turn so far on hot. I grimaced as I felt the knob catch and stay in one place.

I gave the knob a nasty look and stood removing my clothes tenderly from my sore body. I looked down and felt the world turn. That sick feeling from earlier became suddenly apparent as the bile rose in my throat. Now I, being a neat and clean person, change my underwear before I put on my pajamas, but I was still in the same pair I had been in yesterday. In fact. I still had dried blood on a cut that I had gotten before leaving work. I had kept telling myself that I would wash it off when I got home but it seemed otherwise.

I dove for the toilet in almost a comic action. One moment I was standing in front of my mirror and the next I was scrambling across the floor to reach the porcelain waste dispenser. I sat before it on my knees panting, waiting to see if that sick feeling was only a temporary one. The next thing I knew I was emptying the continents of my stomach. It hurt. I felt my mussel's pull tight feeling as if there was no more but still sending a lot. I placed one arm on the seat of the bowl and reached up to flush the commode with the other. The contense slowly fell out of sight and I panted resting my head against the cool front of the porcelain. I closed my eyes and took long deep breaths. I felt something hot brush my leg and I looked up to find the tub overflowing.

I stood to turn off the water but a sudden rush of blood overcame me and I saw only black falling to the floor. I remained in the warm puddle for what seemed like hours before I stood and turned off the faucet. The water splashed out and coverd the already drenched floor as I reached in to take out the stopper. A whooshing sound was heard as the water was slowing spiraling in the drain. I tilted my head to the side and suddenly plunged in. I submerged and gasped at the coolness of the air. I shivered and felt the goose bumps rise on my arm. I rose from the ground and stumbled to the door. I fell slightly but caught myself on the doorframe. I looked at the inviting bed that was not but a few feet in front of me and forced a smile. I staggered forward and collapsed on the cold sheets. I crawled to the pillows and quickly covered myself in the blankets. I pulled my feet up to my chest and sighed as I became warm. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

_I sat on my bed reading a novel. Alice in Wonderland, an advanced book for a ten year old, but still so enjoyable. I was lost in my world. I was Alice, and he was either the Mad Hatter or the Cheshire cat. Maybe the cat, but that humor of his is what made him more like the Hatter. I smirked. I could be the queen. I could make him do whatever I wanted. I was so easily amused._

_This little fantasyland I was in had captivated my mind so much that I was numb to the things around me. I did so love reading. But that day, that was the first day I remember. It was that one little thing that would lead to another and another until he would destroy himself. This snowball affect had been happening long before my arrival but little did I know I would make such a big impact._

_I had reached my favorite part of the novel, that part where the queen played croquet with the flamingos and simply boasted about herself. I like that part, almost as much as the jabberwockies, but that part was so entirely different. I flipped forward and found the jaberwockies page and began to read aloud when I stopped. I heard a noise most peculiar. I set down my book and stood from my bed listening. I walked quietly over to the window, as the noise became louder, a sob, a cry, a hurting noise. _

_I winced as the sounds became more distinctive and less muffled when I opened the window. I was ten, and James was two years my superior, but I had always thought us to be the same age. Many told me that I was very mature for such a young lady but there were still many things I didn't understand. As a girl, I had a standpoint that if boys cried, they were sissies, but this was James, and I knew that he was far from being sissy._

_I stuck my head out the window. "James?" I called softly to him. He was hunched over in the middle of the firescape, his head resented on his arms, his arms on the top of his knees, crying. I called out a little louder. "James." This time it was a statement, not a question. He looked up at me, his eyes and face red, his arms blue from the bruising. I gasped and quickly scrambled out of the window. The cold metal hugged my body as I pushed my way through latter handles getting caught every so often. My thin nightgown was getting caught on spikes in the medal and it seemed almost impossible for me to crawl through let alone James._

_I finally I had reached where he sat in a crumpled heap. I bent down to his level and gently coaxed him to stand. "James. James come to my room with me and I will fix you up, yeah?" I tugged gently on his arm and like a lifeless doll he came. It took time for us to go back through the metal jungle but we managed. James at one point became infuriated with the fact that I couldn't get through my window so he slung me over his shoulder and skillfully climbed through with me on his back._

_ He carefully lowered me down and just stood there crying again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close. His arms found my waist and pressed me closer to him. He bent his head down to my shoulder and began to cry. I hummed softly as we stood there. There was blood mixed in with his tears, I could smell it. Blood. How that vial bodily fluid made me sick. Like salt and acid mixed together it made my stomach churn. But if it was for James, I would just ignore the smell and the fluid all together. I lifted his face from my shoulder and looked at it broken and all. "Come with me James. I will fix this." I whispered as if my parents were home. They were out at a business party as they usually were on Fridays and would not return for a few hours, they were great business people._

_I pulled him by his arm to my bathroom down the hall. I made him sit down on the toilet as I fetched a rag with warm water, some bandages, and antibiotic ointment. We remained in silence as I tended to his wounds. His right eye had been blackened and there were small bleeding cuts all over his face. They were deep but little. I cleansed them carefully making him flinch each time they would come in contact with the cloth or my skin. I finished my work under an hour and still the silence clung to the air. _

_I didn't ask any questions. I didn't need to. I knew what had happened. This was common knowledge between us. I looked in his eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist laying my head on his chest. We stood like this until he let me go. I had always liked his hugs. I lead him from the bathroom back to my room. He walked with a blank gaze almost like a zombie._

_I walked over to my window, closed and locked it. I told him I would be right back and I ran down the stairs to check the doors to see if they were locked, locking them if needed. I hurriedly came back up the stairs and looked at my clock. It was late. James would not be going home. I pulled down the sheets to my bed and I looked at him silently pleading he rest. He removed his shoes and climbed on the far side of the mattress, the side I never slept on. I then followed after him and snuggled down under the covers._

_I reached up and turned off the small lamp on my bedside table. I was cold, I was shivering, I was sad. I knew where those cuts and bruises had come from. His father. He hadn't needed to tell me. His father was a heavy drinker, the kind that goes insane and hostile. He did this a lot. I could hear the screams late some nights and it would keep me awake thinking about James. It scared me but I could do nothing. The man would go out and find other women to suit his fancy for the night. Usually ladies who were unheard of in the real world. My heart would always ache for James and his mother. _

_Unbeknownst to me, James had pulled me close to him to keep me from shivering. My head now rested on his chest and his arms were around me in a big bear hug. I smiled and burrowed my face into the sweet scent of his clothes. "Thank you." He whispered quietly into the top of my head. I smiled into his shirt and nodded. I had become his refuge and it made me feel important. I was that light that kept the monsters at bay. I was the only love in his life now since his parents had forgotten him. I was his sanctuary._

I hadn't realized it but I was crying. I didn't know why these memories were coming back. It must have been the news recently with that mad man on the television, the one who was once my friend. The tears stung my red swollen face as I continued to cry. I sat up and crossed my legs just staring out the large picture window. Art hopped up onto the bed and mewed softly. I wiped the tears from my face and stroked his head lovingly. He purred in contentment and pulled away. He made his way over to a bed I had made for him on the floor and curled up to go to sleep.

I stood from my bed and walked over to my dresser. Pants. I wanted pants. I was in shock, I was unhappy, I was sore, I was cold, and now I wanted pants. I pulled some plaid flannel ones from the back of the drawer and quickly pulled them on. I walked over to the picture window, the one where I had stood while talking to Batman earlier. I quivered not from the cold, but from fear. I was at home when I should have been dead. I should have been like her, like Amy. Raped, dead, lying in an alley somewhere forgotten, blue from the cold and almost completely covered in snow. That is what I should be. But here I stand, in my warm apartment in my favorite pajama pants with my cat Art curled up in a ball on the floor happy. God had spared me for some unknown reason. My savior? Who I wasn't to sure, but I thought, it was possible, it could have happened, but I doubted as much as I believed it was him. No matter what, I was alive by their hands and to them I would forever be deted.

Amy. My best friend Amy. My advice giver, my therapist, the girl who would sit with me and listen to me whine about my personal life and cry with me about being ditched on a date. That was Amy then. Now, now she lies in some park outside of the city with many others just like her. Her funeral was a few weeks ago, a day before the Rose Wayne scandal had hit the presses. I remembered hugging her brother, one of my ex boyfriends, and crying with her mother. Her corpse lay cold and content looking in the wooden box. It was hard, so hard. I had left a bouquet a top of the freshly stirred soil after she had been laid to rest. I had remained, the last of the party, crying in silence, alone. But I hadn't felt like I was alone. I was watched and held the whole time by some unknown eyes. Yet no one was there. I cried as hard then as when I had found out.

It was a normal workday; I was sitting in a small coffee shop before work getting the usual cup of coffee. I was in jeans, a fitted white blouse, a red blazer, a scarf and hat with matching mittens and my black converse. My black pumps were tucked away in my purse. I was enjoying the steady jazz music that was being played over the speakers when my phone rang. I answered it confused. "Ms. Rose?" a deep male voice on the other end asked. "Yes." I answered. My breath had caught in my throat as I waited for an answer. "There has been a murder. You were on her emergency contacts list, we called you first. We need you to come and identify her body." I felt tears swell in my eyes. "Who?" I whispered frantically. "Ms. Amy Garret. You will need to come down to station number 9 ma'am." I felt the tears rush. I hung up the phone and ran out of the coffee shop.

I reached the station all to soon, my vision had blurred and I stumbled into the office. "Where is she?" I cried out. "Ms. Rose?" a large Irish man questioned me. I nodded and forced a fake smile. "This way." He grabbed my arm and pulled me through some doors into a morgue. I felt my skin clench up. A metallic table stood in the center with a large white sheet draped around a body. I gasped as he led me closer. We stood in silence for a moment before he pulled down the sheet. I instantly began to cry, her face was bruised and blue yet she still looked as beautiful as she ever had. "This is she. This is Amy." I said between tears. The Irish man turned to me and began to explain to me what had happened. I began to teeter back and forth. The man reached out and caught me. He led me to his office and brought me some coffee. He told me what had happened and I sat crying the whole time.

She had been walking home from her job at the museum when she came across a dark alley and heard someone crying. She walked down into the dark alley and was ambushed by two men. They did the unspeakable to her while she screamed. A resident at an apartment across the street had heard the cries and made a phone call to 911. Once the two men were satisfied, they gunned her down and ran away. Batman had chased them for two days before they were apprehended and put on trial. Two days later, they were both killed by lethal injections. That was how Amy died, trying to help someone. She was always helping someone. How I missed Amy. Could I have ended like her had I not been saved by some dark hero?

I snapped myself out of this trance I was in and watched the falling snow. The sun was slowly peeking up over the city. I glanced at the microwave; small green lights flashed six o'clock. I pulled myself away from the gorgeous landscape and went over to the phone. I hit number 9-speed dial and waited listening to that annoying tone. Someone on the other end picked up the receiver and answered. "Hello? This is Katlyn Rose's office. This is Jenny Smith speaking, how may I help you?" Jenny's voice seemed to echo in my ears. "Jenny?" I spoke after a moment. My voice was scratchy and hoarse. I sounded sick and I felt it but I wasn't. "Katlyn? I mean Ms. Rose?" she questioned correcting herself. "Yeah, it's me. Listen Jen, I'm pretty sick. I feel really bad. Tell boss that I am taking the day off and I will work double time later on this week. Okay?" I waited for a response. "Sure Kat. I will come over after work with some movies and soup for you okay?" Geez. Jenny cared way too much. "Thanks Jen. See you later." "Get better soon." She replied. I hung up the receiver and turned on the TV.

I stood before the screen flipping channels until I can upon one that ran Christmas movies from dusk until dawn. I threw the remote on the couch and filled Art's bowl with food. I walked to the bathroom feeling somewhat better after speaking with Jenny. I removed my clothes and started my shower, this time the water would stay in the tub. I stood thinking of what was to happen next. I sighed hoping it wasn't going too much. I began to hum a song, somewhere in the background; I could hear a car alarm go off. And far beyond my knowledge and hearing, a bomb detonated and a car with its owner in it exploded sending an array of playing cards flying in a fiery smoke. God bless the families of those who were marked by the Joker.


	5. Side Note

Hey guys. Yes I realize that the Joker isn't in the story much. But I have been trying to figure out what I want to happen later on and not make it to cliché. So these first few chapters are both stalling and building up the story. See I am kinda like super picky so I want to add a lot of information to the story so you have a good idea of what is happening and what could happen. Yeah so I'm really am picky. But I am currently writing the next chapter where the joker comes in. and I have decided that later on that Kat goes to that party Bruce had in DK, so I know I have like very little on the Joker, but I have put some in there. So if you were confused, yes the guy in the alley was him. I know he's not the Joker we all know and love from the movie, but I really am working on him trying to keep his evil side and yet have him be compassionate and caring. Thank you for being so patient with me. I have been struggling with what to write. Thanks to all my reader!

- White Butterfly


	6. Chapter 5

**a u t h o r ' s n o t e**

**Okay so to all my readers, I feel really horrid. I know this has taken forever to come out. First prob was that I had serious writers block for a week so I didn't write much. Then I broke my computer and it took 2 weeks to fix then I had exams to deal with and all these projects and tests so that took another 2 weeks. I am desperately trying to add some live Joker action in here but I really want to put all the background stories in before we go to the present. So please be patient with me. Thank you so much to all of the faithful readers of mine and yeah there are a few mistakes in here but this took over a month to write. also im traveling this week for 5 days to a place where they don't have WiFi so I will try to write more of my story while I am gone. When I get home hopefully I will have a few chapters to update. BTW, if anyone has a DeviantArt account and wants to draw pictures from the story you are quite welcome to just send me a link if you do. I would really love some fan art. Hahah me just being hopeful. Anyways, enjoy! 3**

Crunch, crunch, crunch. The snow under my feet echoed as I walked down the busy street. I looked up and smiled as I felt the sun on my pale face and smelt the sugar almonds being sold on the corner. It was my first day off in years and I was going to be spending it in the park. After my panic attack earlier that week, I really did get sick. I was hacking in bed for days while I was congested and feverish. It was not very pleasant.

Christmas was well on its way and the gloomy streets of Gothum were twice as crowded as they usually were. People were shouting louder than usual and cars were backed up farther than they were on Thanks Giving. I smiled. I loved this nitch of hell we all called home. I turned a corner and came to the entrance of the park. People were walking their dogs, children were playing on the snow-covered playgrounds, mothers chatted with each other, and others were on runs. Few were like me and were just walking around.

I had a backpack on today and had put my lunch in it. A picnic at the park. What could be more relaxing? I walked around the park for a while, just admiring the beauty of all the snow. I was so happy. I felt like a whole new person. It was a marvelous feeling. I hadn't been this happy since I last went out on a date with my ex boyfriend John. I did miss him from time to time, but not as much as James. James, the sudden thought of him made me sad, I had come here to get away after all.

I sighed and walked over to a park bench that was under a grand tree, snow had not yet grasped it in its cold fingers. I sat down and removed my lunch from my backpack. The soup in the thermos felt good as it slid down my throat, warm and inviting. I sighed in contentment as I slowly began to relax. The air was crisp yet so delightful. Like a drug, I kept breathing in the pure, cold air. Yes breathing was necessary, but I kept breathing unnecessarily just to feel that sharp pleasure. I quickly finished the soup and followed up with a grilled cheese sandwich. Yum, I loved days like this.

I finished my lunch and just sat watching the scene around me smiling. I was happy for once. I watched the children playing, in particularly a young blonde boy and a young brunet. Both children were younger than ten and they were packed tightly in an array of down jackets, hats, scarves, mittens, gloves, and boots. I smiled. They reminded me of us. Then two older kids came out and began to pick on the boy. They pushed him about laughing while the young girl furiously beat at their backs. The older boys just laughed at her frail attempts and continued to mock the boy. One turned and knocked the little girl over and that was when I had had enough.

I stood and walked over to where they were; a mean look was sharp in my eyes. "You, boy! Why don't you put my friend down? Or should I go find your mother?" I was angry. They were like me and him, James and I that is. The little girl loved the little boy so much it was evident and the boy was just happy she cared. The older kid looked at me and slowly his eyes grew to the size of plates. They let the two younger ones go and they ran off afraid, running for their lives. Later I would look back on those moments and realize that they were not afraid of me but they really should have been. I stood in place just staring at the snow, and I began to drift into another all too vivid memory.

_There we were. I was finally twelve. How the years had gone by for us. I had begun to take an interest in boys and I noticed how good-looking James was. He was taller than me, maybe close six foot or so. I was tall for my age at five foot three. I had thought that we would make a good match. His lustrous golden hair, his teasing hazel eyes, he happy smile next to my light brown curls, my pale green-grey eyes, and my sad pout. What a good couple we would make. I smile at this again. I was lost in my own world._

_What I liked most about this was that I could hug him, hold his hand, be with him all the time, lie next to him in bed, and it would not matter to him. We were partially a couple the way I thought of it. But I still worried about him. He was becoming more bruised and the only times I would see him is when he would walk me to school, then he would leave to go somewhere for the day. He was never at school but at the end of the day he was there to walk me home. We would walk with our fingers intertwined, a thing that made my heart race. He would leave me at my door with a kiss on my forehead and tell me to stay at home until he would be back. James would sometimes come home at seven if I was lucky but I would usually have to wait until nine or so and have him come snuggle down in bed with me, no words were exchanged. He would wrap his arms around me and hold me close while we slept. I could not complain, but I did miss his company during the afternoon. With him I always felt safe._

_One Saturday, I woke up and rolled over. He was there just staring at me, his blonde curls falling to the side of his head. I smiled at him no words were exchanged. He kept a serious look on his face. I just stared for a moment and then began to sit up. He tightened his grip on me. "No." he spoke quietly and deadly. He pulled me up against his chest. I snuggled there for a moment listening to his heartbeat. I pushed up on my elbow and stared at him at eye level. I just remained still then I leaned in and kissed his cheek. His eyes became large and he sat up, taking me with him. His fourteen-year-old body far surpassed my scrawny twelve-year-old one. I was now on his lap looking confused. "I have to go home." He lifted me easily out of his lap and I was shaking unknown to me. He threw his jacket at me and jumped nimbly out of the window. I sighed and laid back down trying to slow my heart._

_I got up and dressed. I tiptoed out into the hallway being quiet as not to wake my parents. I was confused and needed to clear my head. I began to walk down the crowded street towards a playground close by. I found some swings and sat down. Back and forth back and forth I went. I was keeping pace. I closed my eyes and began to relax feeling so much better. I began to shake violently and fell to the earth. I looked up as the tears formed and saw a boy clad in dark clothes. I began to scoot back, my ankle sprained from the fall. The boy began to step closer to me, and with every inch I scooted; he would take two giant steps towards me. I tried to stand, but I fell over in a crumpled heap. I was sobbing and I suddenly was lifted into the air. The boy had grabbed me by James's jacket collar and was examining me. "You're his. Aren't you?" His voice was low and intimidating. I began to cry harder. He slapped me across the face. I looked at him. How simlularly he dressed to James. Only he wore different colors._

_I began to cry again not knowing what to do. Suddenly, I was dropped on the ground, hard. I heard a loud sound and looked up when a shadow cast over me. I cringed at first thinking it was the boy, but then I found it to be James. He stopped to my level and took my face in his hands. "Are you okay?" I was silent in joy and fear. "Did he touch you? Damn it Katlyn, what did he do to you?" I looked at my ankle in reply and he lifted the pants leg to see the swollen bones. He glared as the other boy staggered forward. From his belt, James drew a small handgun. "Get out now and I wont shoot you." His voice was so harsh it scared me. The other boy fled in fear and James one again returned to me. _

_He carried me all the way home, bridal style. People gave us such odd looks as I cried into his neck. One at home, he placed me on my bed and sat next to me. "Are you okay love?" I lunged forward and put my arms securely around his middle holding tight. I cried harder. It seemed all I did was cry with him. There were few happy moments. He lifted my face and gave me a sad forced smile. "God. You are such a handful. I don't get paid enough to watch you. You know that toots?" I chocked on my words as I tried to reply. I only smiled at the lovely fourteen year old face before me. His shirt was lifted at the belt and the end of the gun stuck out. I tenderly reached out and brushed my fingertips across the smooth wood. I tilted my head to the side and looked at him_

_He pulled at the sleeve of his shirt and wiped the tears from my face. "Kitten, I have a lot of things to tell you." He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to lay back on my bed. He then tucked me in and laid next to me atop of the covers. He stared for a moment looking for words. His toung would slip out of his mouth every so often in a very reptilian manner. I waited. "Kitten, that jacket, the colors. I got in with the wrong people a while back and I'm in with them now." I bit my lip processing the information. "A gang?" I whispered. He nodded his head sighing. "They accept me." He said. I sat up now suddenly mad. "I accept you. Am I no longer good enough for you?" My voice rose steadily. _

"_Katlyn, I know you accept me but you are the only one. I can't have one friend my whole life. I do care about you but I need some other guys to hang with." He sounded apologetic and sincere, I wasn't buying it. "So that is where you are during school? Now you smoke, I only see you at night, I suppose you drink now? What is happening to you James? I don't understand." To tell the truth I didn't understand and that scared me almost as much as loosing him. "And today, you pulled away from me when I kissed you. Why? You kiss me all the time how is it any different?" I felt tears coming again. This time, from confusion and anger. "You don't understand." He said, his voice warning me not to push it. " Do you hate me? Do you not care how I feel? Am I nothing but a play toy in your sick world?" I was so angry, boiling now and he didn't understand. "No! Katlyn! I care so much about you. You just don't understand! You never will!" he pushed himself off of my bed and jumped out of the window going home. _

_That night was the first night in a long time I had been alone. I tossed and turned in bed forever, without him, I felt scared and alone. We had our first real fight and I was not able to understand at the time what he had meant, to me, it seemed as if he hated me. I cried myself to sleep in his jacket, the smell of his cologne lingering in the soft leather. I wanted him there to tell me how he cared, but he was probably somewhere drinking himself to sleep, alone, without me. For nights, I slept alone._

I stood confused. Why? Why had they run? All I had done was help them and yet they were now no longer in sight. In fact, I was all alone in the park. I stood just staring at the ground for a moment not really thinking just staring. A sudden clapping brought me out of my trance. I felt my heartstrings pull as the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I was afraid to turn around. I was so afraid of looking back. Days when I was younger made me so frightened. I was scared.

"Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Or should I say look at the kitten." The voice from behind me was happy and frightening. I knew that voice so well. It seemed to be everywhere. I couldn't move. My feet were glued to the ground. 1 tried to look back but I couldn't. I heard him walking closer every step he took fell in time with my heart. "How long has it been, kitten? Too long I say. And look at you now. Not a scrawny little cat anymore are we? No but a beautiful lioness." He was close now, right behind me. I could feel the heat coming off of his body. "Won't you look at me doll face?" I opened my mouth this time to speak. So softly I spoke. "I can't move." He understood I was sure of it. Suddenly I felt one long arm wrap around my waist and bring me closer. "Kitten. Still the same huh? Just not small anymore." Another arm made its way around my shoulders so he was holding me in place. He put his head on my shoulder and smelt my hair taking in a deep dramatic breath. I could smell him. A hint of cologne, the smell of fresh fabric, probably his new suit, face paint, and his breathe. I could hear that reptilian tong of his flick in and out of his mouth. I felt the arm on my waist slowly rise to take the place of the arm on my shoulder and something cool touch the base of my neck.

I took in a sharp breath of surprise and fright. "So you recognize it then pooh? I thought the least. Now look at me. LOOK AT ME!" he was frustrated, he only raised his voice with me when he was frustrated. I reached up my hand and grabbed his wrist pulling it away from me slightly. I turned slowly and came face to face with him. I gasped, he looked so different than when I last saw him, and only his eyes seemed somewhat the same yet emptiness loomed in them. I felt my heart jump just as it one had when he would hold me. I could still see James but only a little bit. I bit my lip to keep from crying and cast my eyes to the ground. He grabbed my chin in his large hands and jerked it suddenly so that I would look at him.  
I was crying now openly and he smiled at this. "Honey, don't cry daddy's here. See and I brought a new friend for you." He pulled his knife up to my neck and stroked it gently across the tender part. The metal was cold from the bitter winter air and it seemed to shock my skin. I held my breath afraid the blade would puncture my skin at any moment. " Afraid love? GOOD! You should be. See I'm not gonna hurt you, not now at least. But know this love, you should be afraid of me. See I'm now the stuff in their nightmares." He took his knife from my throat and waved it widely pointing at the buildings where people lived. He brought it back to my neck and began to trace the letter j over and over again. "I won't hurt you. Not yet." He smiled at me and pulled a box from the inside of his jacket. He pressed a small red button on the top of it and suddenly the city shook violently as an explosion went off nearby.

I fell to the earth and the small blade made a cut on my cheek as I descended. He laughed maliciously and knelt to my level. He smiled and ran his leather-clad hand against the blood. He placed the bloody finger in his mouth and tasted it. He smiled and bent forward very close to my face. "I will be back for you pooh, make no mistake of that. Never forget that I am a nightmare to all." With that he bent over and kissed the corner of my mouth. He then licked up the blood from the cut and stood up straight. A car screeched on the street and he slowly walked to it. I heard the door slam and the tires cry out as they suddenly accelerated. I could hear people screaming in the background, gunshots, and sirens. Yet all I could do was sit in shock. What was becoming of me?

_I woke up the next morning, cold and stiff. The happy birthday cards lay in a heap on my dresser. Happy fourteenth birthday. Yeah right, happy my ass. Fourteen was a great age, but to me it meant two years farther away from James. Two more years he would have away from me. I walked over to my mirror and looked at the repulsive reflection. My mascara and eyeliner had dried down my face from where I had cried all night. My hair had gone unwashed for two days now and stuck up every which way. I ran to my bathroom and washed my face. I came back into my room with the intent of changing my clothes, but I stopped as I came across the mirror. I stopped and stared at my reflection. I was no longer the stick that I once was. I now had curves and was no longer flat. My achane had cleared out and my complexion was flawless. I rubbed my hands over my waist and on my butt. I felt fat but maybe it was because I was just very curvy. _

_I could hear them snickering from across the way, they were always there always watching when the were over. Today was not the day. I walked into my bathroom and pulled on a baggy sweatshirt over my pajama top, threw on some old grey sweats, and slipped into flip-flops. I walked over to the window and gently pushed it open trying not to make to much noise. I slid out onto the rust metal of the firescape and bound quietly across to his window. I tried opening it but it was jam shut. I pulled out a switchblade form my hoodie and carefully pried the window open. I slid in unnoticed and just sat down by the window on the foot of James's bed. He came in the room carrying a box of beers and he was smoking a big cigar. I remained quiet and still just waiting. His gold hair had been parted and slicked down on the top but wend wild everywhere else. "All right boys, today, we are in for a good day. So who wants…" he looked up and saw me. I crossed my arms and gave him a look that could kill. _

"_W…what are you doing here?" he was at a loss of words. The rest of them looked around at me glaring and suddenly they found me humorous. "Shut it." He said and obediently they listened. I smiled and walked over to him, throwing my arm around his shoulder. I stood on my tiptoes and put my lips up on his ear. "Can I have a word?" I smiled sweetly and began to lead him out of the room. Before we left, he sat the case of beer down on the card table then followed me out of the room. "What's up kitten?" he purred knowing I was displeased. He rubbed my face with his hand and then my neck, the feeling was so good. "James, I hate them, all they do is peep at me and it's demoralizing." I was unhappy and he could tell. "Sorry pooh, I will make sure they don't do it again." I watched his tong flick out and I always thought of a lizard when he did this. I smiled at him though I grieved on the inside. "Can you guys end early, I need you." I put my arms around his middle and burred my face in his chest. His warm and protecting arms came around me. "Sure. It will be a fast game." He smelt of cologne and tobacco, almost a sweet smell. He bent forward and hesitantly kissed me on the forehead. These days he was so careful trying not to get to close to me. It seemed he feared something to come._

_I walked back into the bedroom lead by James and I crawled once again through the window. I felt their eyes piercing my back as I walked across to my home. I closed my window as soon as my feet hit the floor, then I hurriedly closed the blinds. I stood looking at my room. I was numb. I felt nothing it was like I was floating about. I shivered and began to rub my arms as the goose bumps appeared. It was warm in my room but I felt cold. This was how I always felt after a loss as great as this one. I bit my lip as I stared at the birthday cards before me; their bright colors mocked me. I caught my breath as I tried to scream; it came out as a hushed yell. Taking the cards angrily I threw them into a trash bin where they would stay; all but the one from James, it did not say happy birthday on it. _

_I looked in the mirror and began to feel sick. A pale girl looked back at me with huge bags under her eyes and greasy hair. Sadness loomed deep in her eyes and she was on the verge of tears, what a horrid looking girl. I grabbed some clean pajamas and threw them onto of the clothes hamper in my bedroom. I turned on the hot shower and stepped in removing my clothes only as they became soggy. I cried. Hard. You would to if you only had one person left in your life. _

_It had been my birthday two days ago, how great fourteen seemed. My parents had given me my present that morning before school then left for work. While they had been driving across town, they hit a manhole and it exploded. Their car was shattered into a million pieces including them. I had been playing a card game with J, as I was now to call him, when the doorbell had rang. I ran forward and found the police with a grim look on their face. "Officer?" a young officer Gordon was looking at me with sadness in his eyes. He had been one of my father's best friends in high school and today they were still close. "Katlyn? I have some bad news." He stopped and took a deep breath and then began to tell me what happened. I was in shock; I stood there with my mouth open like a fish. "I will send someone over if you need me to." He said, I shook my head no and he left._

_I fell to the ground sobbing so loudly J came flying down the stairs ready to attack someone. He rushed to my side and bent down. I couldn't speak only cry. J was confused and saw a piece of paper on the table by the door. He grabbed up the sheet that had the report of the incident on it. He read it quickly skipping over many unnecessary lines. I saw him gulp a mouthful of air and quietly put the paper down. He lowered his eyes to the floor and slid down the door to sit on the carpet. He looked at me in distress and reached forward sliding me to his side. He picked me up from there and placed me in his lap stroking my head as I sobbed. We sat like this for hours he and I did. _

_Eventually, the sunset and the lights were off downstairs. Neither of us had the heart to move and turn on the lights. I sat in his lap as he continued to stroke my head humming. I had stopped crying long ago for I had run out of tears. I stood in shock now just staring blankly ahead. J checked his Rolex that he had mysteriously acquired and sighed. Still not speaking, he lifted me and carried me up the stairs to my room. Gently still, he lay me down on the bed and pulled the sheets down. He kneeled at my feet and removed my socks and then proceeded to pull off my hoodie leaving me in my shorts and a cami, the way I always wore my pajamas. J turned off the lights and climbed down next to me after removing his shoes. He pulled me close and held me as tightly as he ever had. I began to cry as he hummed again. Together we fell asleep like this. Silent, broken, but together._


	7. Chapter 6

**a u t h o r ' s n o t e**

**Omg you guys! I am so freaking sorry I totally forgot to update. I have had this short but important chapter written for a very long time, its just that I have been so busy lately. School has been horrid and we are putting on a play so that just eats up my time. I will try to update before Easter, so pretty much as soon as possible. Um you see the important background, and if it seems like I have skipped a lot its because I really wanted to throw this in there now. Um I pretty much am done with flashbacks for now, possibly/probably the whole story. I have the end figured out its just getting there that is going to be the hard part. Sorry for the delay. Comment, fave, you know what I want. Thanks, kisses!**

I staggered to my feet but fell in my aimless attempt. I raised my hand to the cut. It stung as my dirty hand came in contact with the tender flesh. I felt dizzy and my vision was beginning to haze. I felt my heart race. I could smell the blood; there was so much of it. I began to think, realizing that he had accidentally cut a major vein in my neck. Or I hoped it was accidental. I felt my breath catch. I couldn't breath. I rolled over from where I was lying face down in the dirt. I tried to relax but my attempts were all in vain. From nowhere a dark blur appeared in my hazed line of vision. I couldn't hear now. The screams, the panic, the guns, I was deaf to it all. The only sound in my head was that of my weak heart. The blur came over to me and knelt down by my side. I could tell it was a man from the smell but whom I didn't know. They were talking, I couldn't hear. I reached out to them and grabbed their arm. Then, I felt a rush of dizziness come over me and my world became black.

I could hear it. Beep, beep, beep. How annoying it had become in the last hour. My eyes remained closed but I could tell it was daylight. Beep, beep, beep. I could hear people talking. They spoke in low and quiet tones that were too muffled to understand. I could hear the shuffle of feet and the opening and closing of doors. Beep, beep, beep. Slowly I opened my eyes only to be greeted by a blinding whiteness. Snow. I was looking out of a window, it was daylight, and there was lots of snow. I looked over at the two men, one obviously a doctor, the other, my old friend Bruce Wayne. I tried to sit up but felt every muscle in my body scream in protest. I lowered myself back down with a moan and both men turned to look at me.

The doctor nodded to Bruce and left us alone in the room. I looked at Bruce feeling angry, confused, and grateful. "What am I doing here?" My voice was raspy for my throat was dry but my tone was sharp. Bruce looked at me and sat down in the chair next to me. He remained silent for a few moments and then began to stare out the window. I bit my lip and folded my arms while I waited. "Bruce…" I said in a warning tone. He stood up not looking at me and got a bottle of water from the counter. He walked back over to the bed and gave me the bottle. "Here. Drink this." He said. His voice was deep and he sounded very much like someone else I knew. I nodded in thanks and took a large swig of water.

"Bruce why am I here?" I looked at him and finally received an answer. "I was hoping you could tell me." He replied so calmly. I felt my throat clench up. I couldn't tell him what happened, not really. I sat staring desperately at the falling snow for a moment or two. "I…I fell." I said. Bruce scoffed at this. He knew me better than that, after all, we had dated in high school for a year. He narrowed his eyes and stared at me, I began to turn red under his stone cold gaze. "Liar. What really happened?" I felt tears come on. I wanted to tell him so bad, I wanted to hold J so bad, and I wanted none of this to have ever happened. I should be married to J now but I'm not.

_I sat in my room; flashcards were all over my floor. I had on yoga pant and was wearing a cami that had a large tee shirt layered over it with the neck cut out. I was repeating the words out loud. Over and over the French words came out of my mouth. I had a huge end of the year test and I hardly knew my material. It had been a year since my parent's death and I had been declared an emancipated minor. J had been helping me pay my rent as he had mysteriously come into large sums of money. I did question this sometimes but he helped and I was still living in a house, so I minded my own business. J was out even more than he had ever been. I had begun going to bed without him and wake up in the morning to find him next to me. He always looked godly until I saw the cuts, scars, and bruises, then I became sad for him again. _

_It was obvious by this point; I was in love with him. I could deny the truth no longer. I always thought of him, his mere presence made me intoxicated, but I couldn't tell him. The gang he had joined several years earlier was notorious and if he became a problem they could use me as leverage as he had once told me. I worried about him constantly but I could not do anything about that. I became frustrated by all the French and flopped back onto the floor. I sighed as I pulled my legs up starching them in the air. A soft May breeze blew through the open window and brought the smell of rain. I sighed and closed my eyes content in the streaming sunlight. I rolled over supporting my head on my arm and closed my eyes. I was so comfortable that I began to fall asleep. I was so close to dozing off that I began to feel dizzy. A sudden scream awoke me from my light slumber. I felt all the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck rise on end. I scrambled to my bedside drawer and pulled out a handgun, ready to shoot._

_I held my breath as I waited. Crash! I could hear glass breaking and cursing. I knew those sounds. J and his father at it again. And this time, it was worse than it had ever been. Cracking of wood and the breaking of bottles could be heard. I felt tears form in my eyes, I couldn't stand it. I was prepared to call the police but J would get arrested for sure under false pretense. J's mother had been killed "mysteriously" earlier that year so it was just J and his father. Since then things had gotten worse. _

_I crawled out onto the firescape with the gun ready to shoot. I was scared when the silence fell. Then the front door opened and his father stepped out carrying a bag of shirts and money. The current shirt he was wearing had blood covering the front of the beer logo. "Go to hell you son of a bitch! I'm damn glad to be leaving you and that whore of yours! One day you little bastard, I'm gonna get you and beat the shit out of you! Mark my words!" With that he hopped into his car and drove away for the last time in his life. _

_I ran to J's window and stumbled through the oversized window frame. "JAMES!" I screamed hysterically. I ran out into the hallway looking frantically for him. The hall was covered in blood and it trailed every which way. I ran downstairs to find the den and the kitchen torn to pieces. A large pool of blood was in the middle of the kitchen floor and a knife lying near it. "JAMES! Damn it! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" I saw blood trailing with bloody shoe prints trailing to the downstairs bathroom where the door was shut. "James are you in there?" I was crying so hard I was shaking and becoming dizzy. "JAMES!" I cried as I rattled the locked door. "Katlyn…" A soft and shaky reply came from the inside of the door. "James?" I called softly. "Katlyn. Go home." I began to cry again with the coldness of his voice. _

"_J, are you all right?" I asked franticly turning the locked knob. "GET OUT OF HERE AND STOP BEING A NOSY BITCH!" I squeaked and ran quickly up the stairs and then to my room. I was panting heavily by the time I collapsed on my bed. I drew my knees up to my chest and began to rock back and forth rapidly. I felt the tears come on, not from the harsh words, but from the shock of it all; the blood, the yelling, all of it. I didn't know what to do and it scared me, I always knew what to do. I loved him and I knew what was coming, I was going to loose him now no matter what I did. I had known since I was little that no matter how hard I tried, I would loose him but now I was sure of it. I had done everything in my power to convince him to stay and it had worked thus far, but now…_

_For hours I sat in my room not moving, hardly breathing for fear it would disturb him. I tried calling his phone over and over again and all I got was an empty tone or the sound of his voicemail, never an actual answer from him. At one point a few days later, I was hanging off of my bed trying in vain to call him. To my shock, someone answered. "James?" I called timidly into the receiver. "Kitty, stop this." His answer was soft and raspy. "James, please come over, I need you to…no I want you to come over, I want you, please." I was almost to tears. "Kitty, not now but soon. Don't fret, I am still here." I began to cry again. "James don't go…I love you." I sat in silence and listened to him breath for many long minutes, then, he hung up. _

_I sat on the floor shaking violently. I was sore and my face stung from where it had been made raw from the many tears I cried. I stood and wandered around the house. I climbed the grand spiral staircase to the library. Spider webs covered the thick metal framework that wound around the stairs giving it an aged look. I pushed my fingers against the cool metal as I walked upward to the small landing. I pushed open the door to our grand library as it gave a sigh. My heart raced as I stepped into a room I had not ventured into for many years. Piles of books lay open on tables from where I had spent many days with James over summers reading and telling stories. I walked to the large picture window and drew the drapes back. Light shafted through the dust in the room giving it an eerie comfortable sheen. I shoved the window open and dust flew about causing me to have a fit of coughs. _

_I had never realized just how big our library was. With two levels and each bookshelf standing fourteen feet high, each cramped with books, there was a mass amount of room. I stood about in pure awe as I gazed upon a long forgotten sight, I did not cry as I thought I would have and I realized in that moment, that this was my sanctuary. I heard a creak on the stairs but I pushed it aside as my house was old and creaked regularly. I closed my eyes and rocked back and forth humming to myself. I couldn't believe where I was. _

_Suddenly I felt my back hit a wall and something cold come into contact with my throat. It was sharp and cold and I knew what it was, a knife. I did not dare open my eyes for fear. "Open your eyes." I did as I was told. I looked up to find James, his face covered by a black cloth. I did not speak, I barely breathed, and I felt much fear. For the first time in my life I had lost all comfort in J and it had been replaced with fear. He chuckled at how tense I was and spoke. "Kitten, don't worry, I wont cut you, this is just a joke, a gag if you will." I looked up at him, fear and sadness in my eyes that were brimming with tears. "I just came to talk Kitten, don't worry." My eyes were on the cloth draped all over his face. I was so lost in my thoughts that I had not noticed him remove the knife and move closer to me. _

"_J…" I didn't know what to say, I was at a loss for words. I reached up and brushed my hand against his hair. His head moved with the action of my hand forcing his hair to rub against my hand. "Katlyyn, I really came to tell you I'm leaving…forever." I gulped and moved closer to him, he couldn't leave me all alone, he just couldn't. He took my hand and placed it on the edge of the cloth. He forced me to pull it down, and I gasped in fear._

_My eyes diverted and I looked to the side wincing at the sight. His beautiful face had been destroyed. From the corners of his mouth all the way up to his ears, his face had been cut. Stitches had been used to seal the skin and it was obvious that he had done them himself. Dried blood and scabs encrusted the string that pinched his skin. All color had been drained from his face and he no longer look happy. "Look at me Katlyn, LOOK AT ME!" I looked at his eyes and felt the pain that he felt. "Look at how hideous I am now. Remember how you said you loved me? Well not anymore right, you can't stand the sight of me. Just like dear old dad!" "James I…" I was cut off by his fingers on my mouth. "Just admit it Katlyn, you hate to look at me." "NO!" I cried suddenly._

_He stared at me as I held my breath. He bent his head forward and began to laugh, a long deep haunting laugh. "Oh my dear pet, how sweet you are. Tell me when you said you loved me did you really mean it?" He had backed me even further into the wall and held my hands in place over my head; he was standing so close I could smell his cologne and blood, lots of blood. "I did." I whispered almost embarrassed by my own feelings. He stared at me long and hard while I panted out of fear. Unexpectedly, his lips came crashing down on mine. I hesitated for a moment and then gave in. I placed my hands tenderly in his hair as he pulled me closer. His tong desperately fought to gain entrance, as I was pulled closer to him. I gave a cry as his hand grazed my thigh and I was touched, as I had never before been.  
Our passion was soon over when he pulled away not saying a word. I rose to my toes and planted a small kiss in the crease of his wound. He grabbed my hand pulled out his knife. Carefully and skillfully he cut the letter J into my hand. "So you will never forget." With that he gave me one more hard kiss and ran to the window. He turned to look at me once more with no expression on his face and he climbed out the window. That was the last time I would ever see my love and I knew it. I feel to my knees and I cried._

I glanced up at Bruce again tears rolling as I remembered the one and only time I had been able to show James my love. I stared at the dark silhouette of Bruce while he stared out the window. Things began to come together. Piece by piece I put the puzzle that was my life together. "You're him aren't you? Batman. You're going to kill him." My voice was soft and sad as I had expected it to be. He turned to me and gave me a long hard stare. "Yes. I am going to try." With that he left the hospital room and I cried harder than I ever had. Then, I slept.


	8. Chapter 7

**a u t h o r ' s n o t e**

**omg!!!!!!! I am soooo freaking sorry it took so long to update! I totally forgot for a while and then I got caught up in my busy life. Not only was and buys I also was having major writers block. I'm really sorry to keep you all waiting. I hope this lives up to the story as it is so far. Thanks and lots of love!**

Its always hardest to find words to say when someone tells you news like my mother has cancer, or I have a month left to live, or my dad died. Saying I'm sorry never seems like it's enough and that your words are pointless. So how do you react when someone you love tells you they are going to kill someone else you love? Do scream no, or do you tell them you hate them? Do you stop talking to them or do you praise them for doing something that they feel is right? I just cried. Bruce told me he was going to kill J, and I knew I had to stop it. Words didn't fit that time, only actions. So, what do you say when someone comes in and tells you that you have to leave the hospital because it is about to be blown up by a psychopathic lunatic you have been in love with for most all of your life?

"What?" My voice was shaky and soft. "Yeah, we will come back for you in a little while. We have to take care of all of the ICU patients and the elders and the pregnant women and children. Then we can get you. Stay here!" My attendant ran out of the room screaming orders. I stared after him in fear as he went on his way. I tried to raise my hands, only to find them as they were earlier, strapped to the bed. I had been sedated earlier after having a fit and going into a rage as Bruce brought me the glove that belonged the Joker. The doctors found me to be too out of control and had to put me to sleep for a while, strapping me to the bed in the process.

I began to panic as the screaming from outside grew louder. I pulled at my restraints tears now streaming down my face, I was going to die. Harvey Dent, who was next door to me who had not yet been moved, and I were going to die. I pulled so hard that I felt my left wrist pop and I screamed in agony. I turned my face into the pillow crying from the sudden stabbing feeling. I couldn't tell if it was broken, but it hurt like hell.

As I was crying I heard someone whistling walking down the hallway. I saw the white nurses coat and my fears left if only for a moment. "Help, nurse please! I think I broke my wrist! NURSE!" I was frantic for her attention and suddenly she stopped and her jovial whistling stopped also. Her back was to me but I could tell she was not very confident. She stood bow legged and hunched over. Her clothes were a size too big and she had her hair pulled in front of her face.

She backed up to me pushing the medical bed with her; her back was to me the whole time. I felt fear rise in my body as she slowly made her way through my door. "Nurse?" I was crying and hyperventilating all at once. She turned around and I began to scream and cry. "No, no! Why are you here? Go away!!! I hate you! I HATE YOU! No he's going to kill you, why are here?" I was crying so hard, those sad hazel eyes stared at me from the depths of the dark makeup and it was chilling. He began to laugh uncontrollably at me. His laugh was low and haunting but somehow comforting for it was familiar. He looked at me and pushed the bed to the side so that he was right over me. I didn't really hate him; I just had to say something to make him leave. What if Bruce showed up at that moment and killed him? How could I live with myself?

He smiled at me and stroked my face with his hand, for a moment behind the grease paint, I saw James, the one I used to love, and I know the joker the one I love now, will soon return. He smiled and ran his hand down my face, to my jaw, to my neck, down my arm, and to my hand. "Hey Kitten, how the hell are you doing?" He laughed again as he began to crawl on top of me. I looked frantically at the door while he made himself comfortable. He saw me staring at the door and laughed. "Hahahahaha Kitten. Don't you worry your pretty little head off, I promise we wont be interrupted. Don't you worry about anyone disturbing us." His eyes gleamed and he licked his lips hungrily, like a lion looking at its poor, slow, helpless prey.

That was me, the prey that is. That is all I ever was, the prey, and for J…. er the Joker, to be the predator, well that was like putting up a fight with a bomb that can't be stopped. It was pointless to struggle because you know you would loose no matter what. He was sitting on my stomach and I could barely breath. I pulled at my restraints hoping that maybe by some miracle they would break, no such luck. I winced at the pain as I had forgotten about my hurt wrist. He smiled sickly at me and leaned in so that he was close and could examine me. He pulled a knife from the bosom of the dress and held it in his hand all the while he was slowly stroking my face and had the knife pointed dangerously in the air. His thumb gently rubbed the scar on my neck, the one he had put there. He had not spoken a word for several minutes nor had I out of fear. He just stared at me running his hand back and forth across my face. His free hand traveled down to my restraints on my wrist and stopped. He touched the cold metal buckle and frowned. He suddenly turned and held the knife up to my neck. "Tell me one reason why I should let you live? And don't say because I love you Katlyn. That doesn't concern me right now." His voice was deep and serious. I bit my lip and remained silent thinking of an answer. "Tick tock poo. Times flying fast." His hand mocked the motion of the clock on the wall as I continued to think. "Because it is random. And no one would expect you to let me live?" I gulped. That was the best answer I could come up with for I knew the Joker loved to do things spontaneously. He smiled and laughed so loudly I felt tears enter my eyes. "HAhAHAHAHHAhAHaHAHA. OH how smart you are poo! Most people give me some stupid answer like " I have certain skills you could use.' But not you Kitten. You are creative! I like that! So you know what?" He sunk down lower to me and smile licking his lips dangerously close to mine. "What?" I whispered to him as he smiled at me. His hand flicked out and held my face in place dangerously close to his. "I'm gonna let you live kitten. Cause your answer was creative, plus, I do so miss your kisses. How nice they were. Ho ho ho…he he he…" The laughing reminded me of Santa if he had been a psychopath. Taking me by surprise, he suddenly put his mouth to my face. I felt his tongue run slowly across small cuts on my face from where I had had a panic attack and scratched myself. His breath was hot and sticky and made my eyes roll in to the back of my head from this sick, intoxicating feeling. "Katlyn…. I miss you." He spoke between kiss that he was trailing up and down my neck. I now realize that he must have forgotten who he was and where we were. As did I. "James…I've missed you too." Suddenly his kisses stopped and his hand came into contact with my face.

At first I couldn't feel anything, it felt just like air running over my cheek but then I began to feel the stinging and I tasted the blood, that's when the pain set in. I stared at him eyes wide in fear, tears falling silently. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" he screamed putting the knife by the corner of my mouth as he put more weight onto my stomach cutting off my breathing. "I'm sorry… I wont do it again." I whispered to him not finding my true loud voice. He was fuming, I could tell, I knew that look. He raised the knife above his head and I closed my eyes, praying he wouldn't kill me if when he cut me. The next thing I knew, the restraints had been cut and my hands were free. I looked at him confused and frightened. Joker had his eyes diverted from me and he was staring at his hands that lay across his lap. I sat up as best I could and began to reach out to him. I hesitated then threw my arms around his neck, latching on like a parasite. He stiffened at first then relaxed and I felt his muscular arms snake their way around my waist. This was the side of the Joker only I would ever know. He suddenly remembered who he was and pushed me off. "Not now love, not in this room at least. Its smells like medicine." I stared up at him with complete confusion in my face as he forced me to stand from my bed. That statement, that statement mad no sense at all. But between his laughing and his muttering to himself, I really didn't know what sense was.

He rolled off of me and stood on the floor straightening his skit. He looked at me and grabbed my arm yanking me along side of him. His grip was tight on my arm and he looked angry again. He yanked me barefooted down several flights of stairs not stopping the few time I fell, he just dragged me along. I felt like a rag doll, and I suppose I was one. He glanced back every now and then on our journey, to where I did not know. We stopped at one of the medical desk down in an abandoned wing. He sat me down in a chair and began to go through many files until he came to one. He stopped and picked it up and began to mutter to himself scanning his finger along the page. The Joker glanced up at me and gave me this look then went back to his reading. He threw the file down and picked me up from my chair throwing me over his shoulder in the process. We began another trip up the stairs.

I was very uncomfortable being treated like an old laundry bag especially by J, who had once told me I was his favorite and only princess. With every step he took it felt lice my head was being slowly torn off of my neck. He never once stopped to check on me nor did he speak. This long silence between the two of us was unbearable.

Coming back to the hall where we had begun, he sat me down and taking no care to be gentle. His long strides kept him several paces ahead of me leaving me to scramble behind him. He stopped just outside the door and pulled a mask out of his pocket, the kind the nurses wore over their mouths and noses. He was about to go into the room when he turned and looked at me. He walked over to me, grabbed me by the neck, and pushed me into the wall. "Make one noise puppet, one little noise, and I promise it will be the last sound you ever make. Stay here and if you are gone when I get back, remember there is no place you can run and hide that I won't know about. Because love, I will always know where you are and I will come and find you. And if you run and I have to come and find you, it will not be a fun game we will play. Understand?" With every inflection of his words, his grip on me tightened slowing my air and cutting off my voice. I nodded as best I could in his stone grasp. "Good!" spit flew from his mouth when he spoke. He released me allowing me to fall to the floor gasping for breath. He chuckled at this notion and put the mask on. He pulled a gun out from his pocket and walked into the room carrying a clipboard.

I could hear them talking inside the room. His cold laughing, Dent's mad words. I held my hand up to my throbbing throat. It felt like it was on fire as I gasped every weak and shaky breath. I sat there against the wall for a long while until I began to fall asleep. Suddenly I was lifted violently from the ground and thrown over someone's shoulder. I opened my eyes and began to struggle until I realized it was J. I struggled with every step he took frantically trying to get him to set me down. " I can walk on my own." He did not stop or speak to me. He shifted my weight and held on too tightly. I gave up.


	9. My Regrets

**a u t h o r ' s n o t e**

**My dear readers,**

**I regret to say that I am calling off the story for now. It seems I have lost the spirit to continue to write as I did when I first started. Frankly, I am too caught up in life right now to sit down and write. I do not know if I will ever continue this story again, but as of now I am taking a hiatus (again) from writing. **

**Thank you for all of the support you have given me and thank you for your wonderful comments. If I do again find that spark I once had for this story I might update, but if not I will just give up. I'm sorry and I hope my block goes away soon. Best of luck to all of you.**

**Love, WhiteButterfly**


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